Already got asked if we're dating
never play flip cup with pint glasses
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
