You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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