you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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