they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
