Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
