Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
