am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
