I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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