i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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