Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
