State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
