I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
