I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
