Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
