Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
