Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.

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(804): View more from Virginia

my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2

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(440): View more from Ohio

My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.

(1-989): View more from Michigan

You did this to yourself.

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(904): View more from Florida

The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo

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(574): View more from Indiana

HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.

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(620): View more from Kansas

She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?

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