Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The beer is more important than you right now.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I am one with the molecules
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
