this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This is my life. Enjoy the view
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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