Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
