I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
