At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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