it wasn't lemon gatorade
Buhtt sex?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
