absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Randomize
