I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
