is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
