Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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