we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
