Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
