I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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