I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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