Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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