Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
