pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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