i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
