Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
