Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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