he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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