he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize