WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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