Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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