allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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