i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
