Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
