Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
