WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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