Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
