so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Come see our sink grown plant.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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