those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
