oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
