is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
